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Silent Cry

September 15, 2010 Self-Esteem No Comments

Dear Daughter,

As I write this letter, tears fill my eyes. I’ve made so many mistakes with my body, my mind, and my heart, all because I did not truly love me.  I don’t know why some people spend their lives struggling to accept who they are, while others are completely comfortable in their own skin.  All I do know is – low self-esteem is a poison, it’s a sickness that can change your whole life. Every day, I wish that I had treated myself better…I wish that I had loved myself enough to say, “NO!”…to walk away from situations that I knew would hurt me. But, for whatever reason, I wasn’t strong enough. People often say—when you know better, you do better. Well…I knew I better, but still chose to do the wrong things in many situations or turn a blind eye to the obvious! All it takes is one time…. one time to get pregnant, one time to get a STD or STI that will stay with you for life, and one time to change the entire course of your life. Looking back on everything….and I mean everything… I feel an overwhelming amount of regret and sadness because I would take a lot of things back.

If I could do it all over again, I would have waited until marriage to have sex, and I would have never been desperate for attention from boys or men. I would have focused more on knowing me and what I liked. I would have encouraged myself to not be afraid to try or be ashamed to fail. I would have tried to be the opposite of what everyone else considered cool or popular. I would have been my own leader, instead of following behind everyone else because everyone else isn’t there when you’ve made a big mistake; everyone else doesn’t know all of your secrets. Everyone else isn’t there to wipe your tears away; everyone else isn’t their when it really matters. The only person I can remember being around during those times was me—ME, Myself and I. Why was I ever worried about whether or not people liked me? Being liked doesn’t matter when you’re looking at a POSITIVE STD or pregnancy test; and none of the matters when you realize that you’ve slept with someone who could care less about you.

Listen…..LISTEN TO ME!  Y O U   M A T T E R.

YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN A ONE-TIME MISTAKE. Think about what you are doing. Ask yourself why you are doing it. Don’t ever be so curious or desperate for affection and attention that you forget how valuable ‘YOU’ really are…every single part of you is valuable. You have to know that. You have to believe that because if you don’t, you will have a past full of regrets that you cannot change.  Don’t be like me, don’t be like everyone else. Be different, be smarter, be stronger.

I love you, but more importantly Jesus loves you.

Silent Cry

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